the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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