She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
