Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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