What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Of course I have a pirate flag
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
