People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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