okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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