What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
