You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
