We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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