How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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