are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I can't trust your balls anymore.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
