WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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