I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
