Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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