I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
It's shark week go big or go home
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
