It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
