she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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