I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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