my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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