You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
