Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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