Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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