dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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