Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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