a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
