If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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