I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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