K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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