his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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