I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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