my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
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