Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
