i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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