in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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