we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
