the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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