He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
