i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
