I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
