break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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