You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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