is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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