Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
