I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
