Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
