R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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