Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
