There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
