i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
