I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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