Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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