I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
